by
Terri Norvell
Posted
September 5, 2001
Window
of Opportunity
It's not
the outside circumstances that create our challenges and uncertainty,
it's always our internal dialog. When we are uncertain we
do not trust ourselves, we do not trust our opinions and we
have self-doubt.
Uncertainty
is self-sabotage, a waste of time and energy. Interesting
how it arrives so quickly. At a very young age we are taught
to look to others for conformation, that worry is normal and
that change is unwelcome. How do we break through this mental
cycle of uncertainty when faced with decisions and any level
of change? Very few people ever eliminate all self-doubt...the
goal is to move more quickly through these thoughts and feelings.
An associate
was recently involved with a comprehensive corporate restructure.
As part of this overhaul he would have his third opportunity
for a new position...within 15 months of joining the firm!
No doubt this is a lot of change and his initial thoughts
ran the gamut from what will be my new position, how will
this impact my family, what do I want to do, what's this going
to cost me, is my work style effective, etc? While he was
intellectually able to hold the motto "it's in the best
interest of the business," certainly he and all of those
involved felt this change on a personal and emotional level.
He calmed his uncertainty by refocusing on his unique strengths,
what he wanted, and the knowledge that with every career turn
he obtained a better position. By staying objective he was
able to manage his emotions.
There is
a process to help keep uncertainty and self-doubt from exhausting
you mentally and physically. When you are uncertain about
anything, notice your thoughts (this is a big step) and observe
the dialog going on in your head. Your emotions and worry
can get you stuck in the "mental swirl."
Stop what
you are doing and write down your key thoughts...objectively.
Also, determine and write down the outcome that you want.
This often takes discipline and training your mind to focus
on the process rather than play the "what if" game.
Self-confidence comes from knowing and believing that whatever
happens...you are capable of handling it and that everything
will work out just right.
Remember
it's never the outside circumstances that create our challenges,
it's always our internal dialog...and we are in control of
that!
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